Eight years seem to be a bit too long for an entry here, but it's still just as long overdue.
This can be like a Part 2 to that previous entry of What Scars are For since I'm following up with more current events. About a month ago, I've been goin onto more dating sites, goin back to the lustful way only to find what I believed to be another local that in time turned into a real-life Peggy Bundy. Thought I was only tryin to help out but later on, it turned out she was only after my wallet just like Peggy was after Al's. Thus, I've just chalked it up as a "fool me once" after she'd made off with about 4800. What seemed to be only 50 here, 40 there, 25 this turned quickly into 288 that, 300 here, 200 several times over; almost every time I even log into Snapchat, the only thing that came outta her mouth was money. Then, all she cared about was immediate Dod, without the Raya or Ahava; just like this next one.
Last week, from another dating site, there was another claiming she was a smalls model-I couldn't tell you whether the brand was Victoria or what-but she too wanted just Dod. I've made my decision to not pay 265 for a so-called "Gate Pass" and discussed it my Sunday School group, but done it anyway the next day. What happens next? The manager at the alleged agency claimed that another model didn't safely return home from her "Gate Pass" visit and that started to make me wanna back out which I shoulda done, but I've allowed the one whom I was gonna see let her honeyed words ensnare me into what ended up being nearly half, 2400, as of c. 4pm today. What I thought would be the last such "refundable" fee turned into another, then another, and yet another. Then, at that time today, I put my foot down and drew the line. Instead of paying 500 more just to get what coulda been 2900 back in which that agency said was all described as security deposits, I had to just cut my losses and run far away. That manager kept promising me I'll get it all back once I met the model. But after making off with 2400 plus an additional 4 to cover her debt, I had to stand my ground, used my last excuse, and told 'em simply that "our business has concluded". That whole time, I've put my trust in God, who has provided me with the escape I needed before I lost more money. The thankful part was that I didn't allow Dod to happen, even if protected since I've never made the meeting. Thought I learned my lesson from that last one. Thus, I'll have to chalk this up as "fool me twice" and move on.
Now, since Thursday night, I decided to write a little cover of Godsmack's "Voodoo" hence the title of this post. Their lyrics say, "I'm not the one who's so far away when the snakebite enters my veins..." Mine are more like, "I've fallen so far away, feeling this snakebite..." I've followed up with a question, "Will I continue to endure alone, or seek the Father (to) rise and heal?" The answer will always be the latter, "...seek the Father...", rise through it and heal with this incident as ministry. Since I may change the title later or keep it, but "Voodoo" seems to be a decent codename as a working title. Sully, if you're reading this, don't take it the wrong way, your music is an inspiration and I've no wish to dis it.
This is where I summarize the Three Flames of Love. "May Raya open her gates": let a friendship and acquaintance build first as the foundation.
"Ahava to build Erised": since Erised is Desire spelled backwards (for those Wizarding World fans, you know what I mean), I called Erised that city of desire. Allow the friendship to bloom into that city/garden in order to build a palace or mansion to accept a fireplace for the third to ignite when that time comes.
"Wild Dod to stay her flames, till I say it's time": pretty much self-explanatory. If anyone did watch "Flames" from the NOOMA video set, this is the one that needs careful planning to make right. There's no true way to this flame without seeking and passing through Raya first, then Ahava second. Going straight to Dod does make a person feel empty, even if it's by accident, leaving one burned. The first two are like acclimators to build up your tolerance for the next flame while taking each one with you.
I can explain further on the song, but it near cryptically describes the dangers of only seeking Dod and allowing yourself to be seduced by a siren's honeyed words, numbing you to the danger that follows. This is where, once again, there is no trial God gives us that is beyond our own ability. Mandisa kinda explains it more on "Stronger" where it's gonna take time to get better, but God's got our back, even if we're at the place where we don't realize it.
Once again, like "What Scars Are For", these scars won't truly clear with time, but can be used for ministry. Starting to use music as my tool for ministry and a weapon agin' Satan since it's a universal language.
